The Anti-Philadelphia Eagles
And you may tell yourself, "This is not my beautiful football team"
The Philadelphia Eagles are playing in the Super Bowl this Sunday. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? I expected the Eagles to be good this season, but this season has exceeded any reasonable expectations. It has also been a weird season. By weird I mean: through a combination of excellent injury luck, great turnover luck, an easy schedule, a very talented roster, and high level coaching, this season has been frighteningly easy. They lost one game all season when their starting quarterback played, and that was only after they turned the ball over four times. They played consistently at a high level. They rarely came out flat. Their coach doesn’t needlessly waste timeouts or challenges. Everything they do makes sense.
As someone who grew up watching the Andy Reid era Eagles, the high floor competence of this Eagles season makes me feel like Ricky Bobby during a TV interview: I don’t know what to do with my hands. There were a lot of really good Andy Reid Eagles teams. But you always felt like you were watching those teams with an anvil hovering over your head. When is it going to fall and knock you unconscious? There goes Ronde Barber with the backbreaking pick six. There goes Donovan McNabb being outplayed by Jake Delhomme. There goes Donovan McNabb throwing up in the Super Bowl. Does Andy know he’s allowed to run the ball? Did we just waste another timeout for no reason? And the thing about those very good but never great Reid teams is they felt quintessentially Philadelphian. Fun, sometimes really good, but you always sort of knew the inevitable heartbreak would be coming in the most agonizing way possible to end of the ride.
The 2023 Philadelphia Eagles are the anti-Philadelphia sports team. They are too good. They are too reliable. They are too competent. I am confident that the coaches will have a smart game plan for Sunday’s game and that the players will play really well. It still may not be enough to win the game- Patrick Mahomes is really fucking good. Andy Reid, whatever his faults, is a masterful coach. But the Eagles will bring it. We’re a couple days from The Big Game™ and I still don’t feel like I want to die. Not praying for the sweet release of death before a big Philly sports event is foreign terrain for me. I don’t know what to do with my hands.
Of course, I could be wrong. Maybe the concluding chapter of this season will confirm that the 2023 Philadelphia Eagles were quintessentially Philadelphian the whole time. Spending an entire season building irrational confidence in dupes like me only to provide the meltdown at the worst possible time would be par for the course. But I really don’t think that will happen. (Famous last words, I know). Go Birds.
We had to put our oldest cat, The Old Timer, aka Gracie, down today. She was 19, had dementia, walked in circles around the house constantly while delivering periodic blood curdling screams at all hours of the night, and lately stopped using the litter box. (Not great, Bob.) So it was time, she had a long life, etc. But maybe not the best omen two days before the Super Bowl? We also got her (and her sister who died like 8 years ago) as kittens when I was 11 years old. 11! It’s crazy to think about. I had hair and potential then. I would say time flies, but in this case it seems like just the opposite. Time walks I guess.
Alright.